Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] When it came to disciplining our children, one of the tools that Denae, my wife, executed very well each day in our home was something we called the chair of control.
[00:00:15] Now there was no straps or electricity with the chair of control.
[00:00:20] At times we wanted those things, but it just meant if you got out of control, you weren't in control of your emotions or your behavior or the way you were talking or acting. You were going to have to sit in the chair of control.
[00:00:39] And usually it was in the middle of the room. We didn't banish our kids to their rooms. We felt that that was hellish, that that was isolating them in ways that would be unhelpful. So often we just put a chair in the middle of the room and you're going to sit in that chair and you're going to get control of yourself. Wasn't the only form of discipline that we had, but it was probably maybe the most effective over time for our kids to gain self control.
[00:01:10] But because of the chair of control, there were many days where our kitchen looked like this.
[00:01:18] And on this day, everyone is in the chair of control.
[00:01:23] And Dene said that that's not what was going on there, that they were just having a nice childhood moment, pretending they were on a train and having lunch on a train. To which Anna Elizabeth said, we were not that sweet. That was not what was going on. And you can tell the way they are seated, there is always the way in which they got in trouble. That is the order by which they would end up in the chair of control. And this is before Jonah and Isaac arrived in our home. And when Jonah got there, he would move to front of the line, maybe second.
[00:01:59] And then there was a time where we didn't believe Isaac had a sin nature, so he wouldn't be in a chair of control at that stage.
[00:02:09] But on that day, everyone needed the chair of control.
[00:02:14] And it's true, we all need self control.
[00:02:19] We all have to be trained in controlling our self. We all in some area, to some level, to some extent, struggle with self control.
[00:02:33] And so first of all, today, what is self control and why don't we have it? We read in the verse from Proverbs, chapter 25, verse 28, that a man without self control is like a city broken into and left without walls. And we think about that term self control. It's self explanatory, right?
[00:02:56] It actually means the ability to control yourself, to rule your spirit.
[00:03:02] We talked about a few weeks ago that when the Bible talks about our heart or who we are our person. It's. It's all of us. And we have a hard time controlling our being, controlling who we are, ruling our spirit. Normally we think about self control. We think about refraining from something, not doing something, keeping ourself restraining from sin, restraining from things that may be bad for us or where there's temptation.
[00:03:35] We often think about self control in terms of discipline, controlling ourself to perform habits, training ourself in certain ways. In Proverbs, there's themes of self control that run along all kinds of different categories. There's the issue of gluttony. We need to have self control when it comes to food. The issue of self control when it comes to money. We need to be good stewards of money. We need to have self control when it comes to how we talk in our time. Proverbs deals with self control and all of those categories. That's why it's important for us before we move into those categories are themes to understand this concept, this idea of self control.
[00:04:23] Self control is ruling yourself, controlling yourself. And why is that important?
[00:04:30] Well, we see next that self control is godly. Even in the responsive reading. Today we read from second Peter chapter one, verse six, that a part of being godly in the world is having knowledge with self control and self control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness. So to be godly, it's essential to have self control.
[00:04:59] In Titus, chapter 2, verse 2, older men in the church are to be sober minded. They are to be dignified, self controlled.
[00:05:09] In Titus chapter 1, verse 8, older women in the church are to be hospitable, a lover of good, and self controlled, upright, holy, and then even this word disciplined. They are to have control of themselves.
[00:05:26] In First Peter, Chapter 4, Verse 7, we read the end of all things at hand. Therefore be self controlled and sober minded for the sake of your prayers. Self control is essential to godliness. Self control is a part of godly character. If you don't have self control, you will not be a godly person. Person.
[00:05:53] And so why don't you have self control?
[00:05:57] If this is what we are supposed to be, why don't we have it?
[00:06:02] Well, we've referred to this verse a lot in Proverbs. Jeremiah 17:9 says, the heart is deceitful and it's wicked above all things. The reason you don't have self control is because you have a wicked heart.
[00:06:18] Means you are at the core of who you are wicked and what that means. You are self serving all of the natural Desires that we have as human beings are turned inward to serve ourselves because of sin. This is what it means to have a sin nature. The desires that we have, even natural appetites in the world, we take those desires and instead of using them for the reason God gave them to bring him glory, we serve ourselves.
[00:06:53] This is why an appetite turns to gluttony. This is why a desire for sex, which is good before the Lord, turns to immorality outside of marriage. This is why stewardship, which is a good desire, a good passion that we should have in the world, it turns to greed. This is why the desire for success and excellence can turn into idolatry. Pleasure can turn into idolatry. And the desire for justice, which as we'll see is a part of anger, turns into sinful, selfish anger. These natural good desires, the way that we are wired up, desires that God has given us, we turn inward and and we serve ourselves.
[00:07:43] This is why we have such a problem in our current culture with self control.
[00:07:48] Not only do we have a self centered heart, the world we live in now exasperates our heart that is selfish and sinful. Think about this.
[00:08:03] The life we live daily no longer cultivates patience, self control.
[00:08:12] There's not a process to things. Like there used to be food used to have to be planted in the ground.
[00:08:21] You had to wait for it to grow, you had to go harvest it, then you had to prepare it. There was a months long process to one meal that you would have at night. Not that you didn't eat but once a month. But you know what I mean, the meal you're eating. It took a month to get there, months to get there. Pictures had to be developed.
[00:08:50] You didn't know. Did I have my eyes closed in that picture? Well, we'll find out next month when we go to Walmart and develop them.
[00:08:58] Now they're right in front of us. Oh, I didn't like that. Get back in the right spot. Okay, open your eyes, mom. Keep your eyes open immediately. We have these things, letters had to be written. There was patience that was woven into life.
[00:09:16] A part of life was. You're going to have to have self control.
[00:09:21] But we live in a world where everything is at our fingertips.
[00:09:26] We live in a world of instant gratification.
[00:09:31] We don't have to exercise self control for much that we do.
[00:09:38] Food can be at our door with just the touch of a few buttons. We can send that picture in a text.
[00:09:49] We don't have to exercise self control. We're not a people where self Control is a part of life.
[00:09:57] And so what does that mean for us?
[00:10:00] Well, we're in danger because we don't live that way of one of the most grave sins in the book of Proverbs.
[00:10:08] Proverbs takes this issue of self control and zeroes in on anger. We see the theme of anger as the opposite of self control in the book of Proverbs. So if you don't have self control, what Proverbs is going to tell us? Tell the king.
[00:10:28] If you don't have self control as a king, you're going to be a very angry king and your kingdom is going to be threatened by your anger. Proverbs takes the issue of self control and zeroes in on the sin of anger. What is anger?
[00:10:46] Anger is when we are offended that something did not go our way.
[00:10:52] Anger is a personal sin, first of all against God. Now you may not think about it that way, but we get angry because things aren't the way we want. People aren't doing what I want them to do and we get frustrated.
[00:11:12] Well, right off the bat, who are we frustrated with?
[00:11:16] The one who's in control of that circumstance. We are offended and we begin to think God and others have done something wrong to me. And so we lash out and we fume. And it's not always expressive. Some of us get angry and we sulk and we pout and we fume, we vent, but we become unharnessed anger. It is the ultimate act of not having self control. It's being unharnessed and desiring vengeance in this way. Now I want to be very clear.
[00:11:56] The emotion of anger is not sin in and of itself.
[00:12:03] Jesus was angry.
[00:12:07] Jesus turned tables over in the temple out of anger. But it was righteous indignation and it came from a perfect heart.
[00:12:18] So what makes our anger sinful?
[00:12:22] It is the self centered perspective where we start with our self and we see the world through the lens of self. It is a me centered perspective that skews things toward our preference. Ultimately, I'm mad because it didn't go my way.
[00:12:43] I'm mad because I'm not in control.
[00:12:47] At the heart of anger there is a indignation that I'm not God and someone is going to pay for it. Now why does that have to do, what does that have to do with self control?
[00:13:04] We said self control is harnessing all of who we are, our whole being. Well, think about when you're anger angry, what all is involved? Your whole being is involved in your anger, whether you realize that or not. We think of anger as just this abstract emotion. But your whole self angers when you are upset in that way, your emotions are displeased.
[00:13:36] You are even physically agitated. You grit your teeth, you tense up.
[00:13:43] Your thoughts are involved in your anger. Why did they do that? They're such an idiot.
[00:13:51] I don't deserve that. That's not the way it should be. I didn't get it. My what? You begin to think your mind is involved in your anger and often your deeds are involved in your anger.
[00:14:08] Slam the desk, throw the pillow. If it's a ball game, scream. You're acting out of your, your whole being is involved in, in your anger. And so what's the big deal?
[00:14:26] Well, we have to realize next that this kind of anger, self centered anger is sin.
[00:14:33] Some of us are excusing anger and we call it big emotions.
[00:14:39] It's sin.
[00:14:41] Self centered anger is sin. It's not just your personality, it's not just something the life hack therapist is saying that's really unhealthy for you.
[00:14:53] No self centered anger is sin. To see the world through self and to lash out with this desire that I want it my way and to seek vengeance toward others with my words and my deeds, that is sinful anger. Now there's a version of anger that is righteous indignation. That's not what we're talking about here.
[00:15:20] And we have to be very careful when we call certain anger. We have righteous indignation because we skew that too.
[00:15:27] But this sort of self centered anger is sin. Jesus even said, if you're angry in your heart in this way, you are guilty of murder because it's an issue of the heart.
[00:15:41] Proverbs 14:29 throughout there's, there's many more verses in Proverbs on self control and anger. But whoever's slow to anger has great understanding. But he who is haste has a hasty temper, exalts folly, which is foolishness, which is lack of fear of God.
[00:16:04] Proverbs 15:18 says, A hot tempered man stirs up strife.
[00:16:09] But he who is slow to anger quiets contention.
[00:16:14] A fool, Proverbs 29:11 says, gives full vent to his spirit. He's not controlled, he lashes out.
[00:16:24] But a wise man quietly holds back.
[00:16:30] Anger is foolishness, anger is sin.
[00:16:34] But next we see anger is dangerous. And we're back to the verse that we began talking about. Notice Proverbs 28:25, verse 28. A man without self control, who cannot harness himself in this way, is like a city broken into and left without walls. Now Here's a picture of a city with walls, very high walls around it. The walls were there for protection, for security.
[00:17:07] Everyone's safety inside the city. The city's success depended upon the walls around the city. We even think about city of Jerusalem, that is defense. We think about this kingdom and the kingdom's safety and security and success is dependent upon its defenses around the city.
[00:17:33] Well, he says an angry man is like a city that has no walls. Actually, it's like a city that has already been broken into.
[00:17:43] It's already been defeated.
[00:17:49] The writer of Proverbs here says, anger, this lack of self control, is a Trojan horse that destroys your life and everything good from the inside out.
[00:18:07] You defeat yourself, you defeat your plans, your purposes. You are insecure.
[00:18:14] Understand this. An angry person has already been breached by the enemy, is compromised, has been hacked from within.
[00:18:25] When you feel your emotions and you lash out that way, you have been defeated from the inside.
[00:18:32] It's spiritual suicide.
[00:18:37] It's not the wisdom Proverbs talks about in being harnessed and blessed by the Lord.
[00:18:44] Those purposes have already been defeated.
[00:18:48] You lash out, you fume, you hold grudges. In doing so, you cause irreparable damage to so many things. And you know that, right? Think about the times you have been angry and lashed out.
[00:19:05] There's a lot of times, right?
[00:19:08] Have you ever thought, man, that was so good for me, that was so good for our relationship that I just lost it.
[00:19:17] I mean, we are so much closer now because I screamed at them.
[00:19:22] It doesn't, you know, it causes destruction, it ruins your life.
[00:19:30] Think about the things that you have lost in life, friendships and other things because of your anger. When I think about this verse, I always think about coaching sports and thinking about that one emotional player on the other team.
[00:19:50] And as a coach, and I know this is petty, I would always tell our players, you know, so and so is very emotional.
[00:19:56] So when you're at the foul line next to him, just whisper something to him. Do not be inappropriate.
[00:20:03] But maybe say something like, I can't believe they called that a foul.
[00:20:07] And he's just going to get irritated with you.
[00:20:11] When he throws a ball, baseball, just look back and smile at him.
[00:20:19] That's not inappropriate. That's part of the game, part of competition.
[00:20:26] And players who are emotional would eventually, over time, lose it and they could not perform.
[00:20:35] And guess what? We would win.
[00:20:40] It's the same thing going on in your life.
[00:20:43] Satan knows the buttons to push with you to defeat you.
[00:20:48] Sin will push those buttons to defeat you. Your temptation Will push those buttons, will say those things to irritate you, to cause you to lash out. Marriages, businesses, churches, teams are destroyed through the anger of just one person.
[00:21:09] Kingdoms fall because kings lack self control and get angry.
[00:21:17] Even in one moment, you can lose it all.
[00:21:21] Beginning with your own heart, beginning with yourself. Anger is dangerous. But here's the thing. Self control is safe. Proverbs 16:32 says, Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty. This is a is better than a warrior.
[00:21:41] Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty. And he who rules his spirit better than he who takes cities. You think about kings, you think about emperors who take over cities and kingdoms.
[00:21:53] Well, the man who's just there with self control has more power than them. You think about world rulers and they have a lot of power.
[00:22:04] It's one thing to rule the world, it's another thing to rule yourself.
[00:22:09] And if you can rule yourself, there's safety there. We see that in the world, right?
[00:22:14] Men and women who can harness their emotions, they have real power to do things, they accomplish things. They fight injustice and sin in the world. They are a security for others.
[00:22:29] But we also know this. An angry man is unsafe.
[00:22:34] An angry man harms others.
[00:22:38] But a man who has self control protects others. There's security in that man.
[00:22:45] A mom who cannot harness her anger is paralyzed in nurturing and caring for her kids in that moment.
[00:22:55] She's defeated in that moment.
[00:22:58] But a mom who learns self control and can have perspective and isn't immediately offended by the child's behavior can step in and train them.
[00:23:11] Godliness. But when you're angry, you have no control and everyone around you is unsafe and unprotected. There's no security for anyone in that.
[00:23:23] An angry friend is toxic and ruins relationships. But a friend who has self control is trustworthy and cultivates goodness in those relationships. An angry Christian hinders the gospel.
[00:23:39] But a Christian with self control is a witness. God is in control, a witness of hope. In the gospel, an employer who is angry invokes fear and wears their employees out.
[00:23:54] But an employer, a boss who has self control leads to the success of everyone, is a refreshment, is a provision of goodness for his employees and even their families because he is harnessed for their good.
[00:24:12] And so how do we gain self control?
[00:24:15] Well, the first step is the gospel.
[00:24:19] The gospel is the answer to self control. If you're here and you've heard just maybe a sentence or two things, I'm saying, you're going, I lack self control in that way.
[00:24:31] He was talking about me when he said that.
[00:24:35] And maybe there's an issue in your life where you are angry, you are frustrated, you are easily irritated and annoyed and you realize it's not good for you and it's not good for those around you. How do you gain self control? Well, first of all, self control is only found in the gospel of Jesus Christ. You're an out of control person. How do you become harnessed? Well, you believe in Jesus. You know what your anger is telling you? That emotion, that selfish emotion that bubbles up, it's telling you you're not God, you're not God, you didn't get it your way. And so that's what you should tell yourself when it doesn't go your way. Oh yeah, I'm not God.
[00:25:23] Your anger is telling you you're not sovereign, you're not in control and you're not sinless, you're sinful.
[00:25:31] I mean, you can easily identify that, right? As you think about your anger, you go, that was sinful, that was wrong of me.
[00:25:41] And so your anger is saying you're not God, you're not sovereign, and you're not sinless. And so what do you do? Well, you bow before the one who is sovereign and sinless, who is Jesus. And how do you do that? Well, first of all, you do that before the cross. The cross is where Jesus sovereignty and sinlessness is displayed for us as the only one who can die for our sins, who can die for your anger.
[00:26:14] You feel that anger and you say, there's nothing I can do about it. I'm guilty. Well, Jesus died for your anger at the cross. The sinless payment of the Son of God for you when you have the resurrection that proves his sovereignty. If you are not harnessed by the gospel, you will not be a person with self control.
[00:26:36] You must believe in Jesus Christ, you must accept his cross and his righteousness for you, or you're going to continue to be a miserable, angry person. You bow before Jesus.
[00:26:52] It doesn't begin with the chair of control. It begins with the throne of Christ, where you bow before him as Savior, King. It begins with the gospel. So if you're not a Christian here today, your hope for self control, your hope to do something about your anger, going to be lacking, if not impossible for you until your life is surrendered to Jesus.
[00:27:20] And so what do we do? Well, we then realize that self control is supernatural. We believe in Jesus, but we also understand that this idea of self control is supernatural. Now you hear that and you immediately go, oh, then that Means it's going to be impossible for me. No, not if you're a Christian.
[00:27:44] That is your only hope to do something about self control and anger is that God would do it. And if you are a believer, in Second Timothy, Chapter 1, Verse 7, we read God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self control.
[00:28:05] When you became a Christian, if you're a Christian here today and you believe the gospel that we're talking about, Jesus, death for you and his righteousness for you, the Spirit of God came to live within you and the spirit of God produces self control in your life. That's a promise of the gospel for the Christian, that you can have self control. And if you're struggling with it, you pray that God would continue to work that in your life. Now, now what we're going to talk about just in a moment, you pray for that. He's going to give you opportunity to do it.
[00:28:36] But it's supernatural. God will work that in your life. In Galatians, chapter 5, verses 22 through 23, we read, but the fruit of the Spirit, one fruit, by the way, we don't have time for that. But it's one fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control.
[00:29:01] What God has placed in your heart, if you're a believer, is part of it, is self control. Part of the diamond of the fruit of the Spirit is self control.
[00:29:13] He's placed that desire within you in verse 24, says, and those who belong to Christ have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. God has placed self control in your heart and the old desire of anger, he says, has been crucified.
[00:29:31] When you believe the gospel, that's what's happened to you.
[00:29:34] He's given you the desire for self control and gentleness and love and those old desires of anger and fuming self centeredness, they've been crucified, they're dead.
[00:29:50] That's the power of the gospel.
[00:29:53] And so before we move on, understand that any other solution besides Jesus, supernatural work of the Spirit, There may be things in your life supplements, life hacks, all these things that help you control your anger, counting from 500 to one or whatever we do that may help in the moment, but ultimately they're only band aids on a collapsed heart.
[00:30:26] You need the supernatural work of the Spirit ultimately to produce what God has promised to produce here. And so we believe in Jesus. And then we pray. We pray God, by the power of your spirit, work this in my life. We pray for that those of us who are angry, we lack self control, we're frustrated with ourself, we're ruining things in our life. We feel guilty about that. How often have you prayed about it?
[00:30:53] Are you just trying to overcome it by grit?
[00:30:58] Well, God says that he has given you that desire and will cultivate that desire in you.
[00:31:04] And so we pray for it, understanding the supernatural work. And some of you go, well, then why am I still so angry?
[00:31:13] If God has changed me, if he's placed this inside of me, why do I still get angry?
[00:31:21] Well, the way sanctification works is you still have those trained responses that your old self got really used to inside of you.
[00:31:35] Those trained responses of that heart, those natural desires, those.
[00:31:40] It's like someone who's had a limb amputated and you talk to that person. Every now and then they will go to use that arm that's not there anymore.
[00:31:52] It's natural for them to feel what the nerves were like and to think that way. The same thing for us as believers. We believe in the gospel and that old man is crucified, he is dead. But there are moments in our life in a sinful world where sinful people, where we still reach for that anger because that's the way we've been trained. That's what our heart taught us to do before Jesus changed it. And we respond that way. So what do we do to this old self? How do we get rid of this corpse that's still in our life that's been crucified? How do we get rid of the ghost of anger that still haunts our life? What do we do?
[00:32:35] Believe in Jesus, pray for it. And then we practice self control. I know you're thinking, oh, what is the magical potion here for self control. It's self control.
[00:32:51] You practice self control by the power of the spirit.
[00:32:56] And we see self control is not easy.
[00:32:59] Self control Requires self control.
[00:33:02] First Corinthians, chapter 9, verses 24 through 27. Paul compares the Christian life to athletics.
[00:33:10] And he says in verse 25, every athlete exercises self control in all things. They train, they practice their running. He's going to talk about a boxer here. They train and they practice for the goal in front of them. Notice, he says, they do it for a perishable wreath. This is their reward for the race, he says, but we do it with an imperishable reward. There's something greater to what's going on in your life when you exercise self control. It's godliness, it's Christ likeness. God is doing something Much bigger in your life. And so Paul says in verse 26, so I do not run aimlessly. I do not box as one beating the air. But notice what he says in verse 27. I discipline my body.
[00:34:01] I train my body in godliness.
[00:34:05] Those natural desires are there. But I tell my body, no, we're not doing that.
[00:34:11] I have self control. I keep it under control. And Paul says, as I preach to others and I myself should be disqualified, I can't preach on godliness and righteousness and not have self control. And so how do I get self control? I have self control.
[00:34:30] Now those sinful desires are there. We have to pray. But sanctification is not let go and let God.
[00:34:38] It's not Jesus take the will.
[00:34:40] It's not.
[00:34:43] If you want self control, you have to practice self control. The issue is, how much do you desire self control?
[00:34:50] Or is that power? When you vent and complain, you're just really addicted to that. You like it, but one of the things is you walk by the spirit according to the Word. The more that you exercise self control, you will enjoy that a lot more.
[00:35:06] And you have to train yourself on a daily basis to resist those things. This is what Paul would talk about, immortifying the flesh, that old quartz. You're cutting it away.
[00:35:19] You're letting it die and rot. By doing the right thing, by the power of the spirit, you choose those things.
[00:35:28] The writers of the New Testament often talk about pursuing godliness as striving.
[00:35:35] Striving for godliness and holiness. It's the same word as agonizing.
[00:35:41] I lean into this and it's hard and it's difficult, but I still do it. What does that look like in your life? How do you exercise self control? How do you practice self control? How do you get into patterns of self control?
[00:35:55] Will you avoid patterns that cause irritation in your life?
[00:36:01] That means some of you need to get off social media because it makes you extremely angry.
[00:36:09] It makes you frustrated with the world around you and you're not happy to be around.
[00:36:16] People aren't refreshed as you walk around grumbling and you just unfollow those things.
[00:36:27] Some of you may need to stop watching sports.
[00:36:33] You may need to, because it makes you very angry.
[00:36:37] I remember as a Tennessee boy when I was a pastor in Alabama, and that was seven years, Luke, where we just were destroying Alabama. We won seven years in a row.
[00:36:49] And I didn't realize how cultish Alabama fans were.
[00:36:56] But when Tennessee would beat Alabama on a Saturday, people would not talk to me at church.
[00:37:02] And they need to repent.
[00:37:06] And I had one guy in the church said, you're my pastor and I love you, so I'm going to take you to an Alabama game and I'm going to try to get you to become an Alabama fan. And that didn't work.
[00:37:18] But you need to avoid things that cause that kind of irritation and anger toward others.
[00:37:25] If your news station is causing you to hate a version of person in the world, stop watching it.
[00:37:33] That's not good for you. That's wrong, and that's sinful.
[00:37:38] We avoid those things. We exercise self control in those ways. We suffocate the sin of anger in our life with self control.
[00:37:48] But next, self control requires work and we work with God. When this, In Colossians chapter 1, verse 29 says, for this I toil, so there's work involved. Struggling. This is the word agonizing with all his energy. Whose energy? God's energy. So notice the verse there. Paul says, I work hard at this.
[00:38:15] I strive and struggle, agonize. But it's with his energy that he powerfully works within me. And so as you work for self control, it's if you're a believer and you're praying according to the word of God, God is working with you too. He hasn't left you alone in that.
[00:38:35] As you train yourself with self control, Paul says, he is powerfully working within me. It requires work, but it is work with God. What does that work look like? You work to pray. You work to be in the word of God. You work to be around other Christians when you don't feel like it. It's work, it's agonizing. You have self control to put yourself in front of the grace of God.
[00:39:08] The best illustration I have for this was the time when John Martin asked my family to go sailing with him on his sailboat. Which is not something I would normally want to do with another man. So my family came along with me. I just thought it was weird. I don't want to go sailing with you, John.
[00:39:32] And so we get there and I'm thinking, nice, cartoonish, pristine sailboat across a lake.
[00:39:39] And we get there and John's like, well, we got to get this thing ready to go. And there are 25 to 30 foot poles that he's putting up. There are these ropes that he's pulling down. There are these sails. There are all these things. And I'm just standing there and John has sweat just pouring, pouring off of him. He finally gets the sails on the sailboat up me and my Family. His family are there. And he sits down. He can't hardly breathe. He goes, isn't this fun?
[00:40:09] No, it's not fun.
[00:40:12] I want an Evinrude behind this boat so we can go somewhere.
[00:40:16] Waiting for wind here.
[00:40:20] It's the same way when it comes to you working with God.
[00:40:26] There's agonizing work to get the cells up, to get to places where the wind of the Spirit and the grace of God fills your life and carries you on towards self control. You. You got to work at that.
[00:40:44] It's hard. It's difficult. Sometimes we become Christians and we think all of a sudden, life is easy. Christianity's easy. It's all fun. It's all sunshine and roses. It's not. It's hard. It's difficult. And that's what shocks some of us as Christians. And we have a really hard time with the Christian life because it actually at times makes life a lot harder.
[00:41:06] Oh, but God's given you the power by the Spirit to have self control.
[00:41:10] And so you labor and you work to work with God. Self control requires work. But then we see self control works to be controlled by God's work in us. And we see this in Philippians, chapter 2, verses 12 through 13.
[00:41:27] Paul's writing to the believers in Philippi, and he says, I need you to live like Christ. I need you to live out the gospel and that church. What does that look like? Work out your own salvation. What is he talking work out again? That word work. It means to complete your own salvation. What is he. Are you earning your salvation? What he's talking about there is live out the identity that God has given you. So that desire for self control, What Paul says is work it out, have self control. If you're a believer, God's given you that desire, and you may have to dig deep to find it, but flesh it out, work it out. How do you work it out? This is important for Proverbs. Some of you say we're a long way from Proverbs now we're coming back right here.
[00:42:13] Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. A lot of you read that verse and you go, I got to work out my own salvation and I need to be scared to death if I'm really a Christian. That's not what he's talking about here. He's talking about wisdom, the same kind of wisdom that we see in Proverbs where you stand before the Lord and you tremble because. Because he is your Creator, but he's also good, and you remember who he is. Here the believers in Philippi are to tremble before the Lord Jesus Christ, who is king, who humbled himself, has been exalted at the right hand of God. You tremble before him and you're amazed that he has included you in his kingdom and he has rescued you from sin and darkness and you live your life with fear.
[00:42:58] I need to honor Jesus and trembling.
[00:43:02] I need to honor Jesus because I'm a Christian. Not so that I might be a Christian or scared that I'm not a Christian. No, we live out that wisdom because we are. This is the skillful living of Proverbs where we live before the Lord in wisdom daily. But notice what he says, verse 13. For it is God who works in you.
[00:43:26] So you need to get to work. Why? Because God is working. Again, that cooperation with God here.
[00:43:34] You need to have skillful living and wisdom because God is doing something in your life. Notice both to will and to work for his good pleasure. If God saved you and you're a Christian, he's doing something amazing in your life and it is to make you like Jesus. Think about that.
[00:43:53] The one he loves the most, Jesus, the son.
[00:43:59] I mean, he is overwhelmed with his beauty and his glory and his excellence and his obedience.
[00:44:06] And he has adopted you into the family to make you just like him.
[00:44:11] Oh, there should be gravity with that in the way you live your life. You don't live your life flippantly anymore, right? No, he's making me like Jesus. I got to think about that.
[00:44:21] There needs to be some precision in my life because he's making me like Jesus for his will and his good pleasure.
[00:44:31] He's working in you. The reality is the one that's given you the desire for self control. He will complete that work.
[00:44:40] You know how he's going to complete it? He's giving you the desire. He's also going to give you the opportunity exercise self control.
[00:44:47] And so you live with gravity. In a sinful world with sinful people, that means tomorrow.
[00:44:54] Every irritation that you have, every annoyance, every wrong that's done to you is designed by God to make you like Jesus. That changes the way you think about people around you, right? And circumstances, what do you do? You live with gravity, fear and trembling. God, what are you doing in this moment instead of I want it my way, do what I want right now.
[00:45:24] God, what are you teaching me?
[00:45:28] That woman that just cut me off in the pickup line, she thinks she is more important than me.
[00:45:34] As if the rest of us don't have to be somewhere.
[00:45:39] Why are y'all talking up here in the. I'm not gonna use Chick Fil A, but Burger King.
[00:45:47] Why are you talking to the person behind the counter? I gotta get my Whopper and get back to the office.
[00:45:56] Would you hurry up? And the anger is bubbling up within you. What do you do? Fear and trembling before the Lord God. What are you doing in this moment? You're teaching me to trust you. You're teaching me to live like Jesus.
[00:46:08] When you're lied to, even wrongs that are wrong that you should be offended by.
[00:46:17] What are you teaching me? It's like the child who has to learn emotional intelligence, right?
[00:46:26] Feed me now.
[00:46:29] My voice is almost gone means the sermon is almost over.
[00:46:35] You have to learn that as a believer.
[00:46:38] I don't scream and throw fits because God is God and not me. And he's good. And he's doing something good right here.
[00:46:48] What is it that he's doing? Finally, the culmination of self control is Christlike love.
[00:46:56] Self control isn't a life hack to make you feel better or to leave you of your embarrassment before others. It's not. I've done a lot of things out of frustration that I'm embarrassed about.
[00:47:10] But ultimately it's not just so I don't live that way. It's so that I love others. That's the end to self control.
[00:47:19] Back in the verses we read earlier, it's love and self control, gentleness and self control. It is other centeredness. This is what God is doing. He's weaning you from self toward others. You got to see the end. You got to see the end. He's making you like Jesus, to love others like Jesus. And so we repent of self centeredness and we begin to serve others. That is how we begin to cultivate Christlike self control as we love.
[00:47:51] And just an illustration with your kids tomorrow, like, grab the toy. This is mine.
[00:47:58] You step in and you say, that was sinful. Let's repent of that. And now what I want you to do is I want you to share that toy and three more other toys with your sibling.
[00:48:12] You're teaching love and self sacrifice, but it's the same thing in your life. The people you're irritated with, let me pray for them right now.
[00:48:24] Instead of giving in to the desire to scream at your spouse, let me stop. Let me confess my sin.
[00:48:32] Instead of continuing to hold a grudge. That energy, that frustration, those desires, you take that and you leverage it for courage to reconcile with that person, to resolve the conflict, to serve others instead of gossip and slander encouragement and prayer.
[00:48:55] This is what you turn to, this is what God is working in your life. So we believe the gospel and we pray for self control. We begin to practice self control. We work with God at self control. We live with a gravity and then we love others.
[00:49:11] And our hope and prayer is that we begin to mirror the self control of Jesus, who set his face like flint, meaning he had self control toward the cross, who before the Father said, not my will, but your will. He harnessed his will for the will of the Father. He was led like a lamb to slaughter. And he didn't open his mouth, he didn't plead his innocence. No, he had self control to love you and walk to the cross where God's red hot anger and hatred toward your sin was unleashed upon him.
[00:49:53] God's anger, God's frustration, God's hatred was unleashed upon the Son. This is the way to leverage self control for the good of others.
[00:50:07] The Son chose self control to love you, allowing God's wrath to fall on him.
[00:50:14] And so the call today is not to the chair of control, it's to the throne of Christ, where you would bow down and look to him.
