Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] I used to tell couples in premarital counseling, your spouse isn't meant to be your friend.
[00:00:10] Now, what I meant by that is your spouse is different than the friends that you've had up until this point. Your buddies that you may have been in the locker room with as you played sports, or your women who. Your friends who you went to the coffee shop with or went to the boutique with. Your spouse is going to be different, and the relationship that you're going to have with them is different than those relationships. And you're going to experience this differently than any other relationship that you've ever had. Now, while I still believe that sentiment, I don't think you treat your wife the same way you treat. Treat your buddies. You don't talk to her that way.
[00:00:58] And you shouldn't expect from your husband the same sort of relationship that you get from your girlfriends. You should expect something different in marriage. And so I don't say that anymore. And the reason I don't say that anymore is because it communicates such a low view of friendship, sort of a surfacey view of friendship. It's not what I'm trying to teach about marriage, but I began to realize I was speaking of friendship in a different way than the Bible unpacks friendship. You see, the reality is the essence of marriage is friendship.
[00:01:45] And it's biblical friendship. It's gritty, sacrificial friendship. But we so often don't think about friendship that way. Most of us think about friendship as sort of just kind of a byproduct of living life. If it happens, it happens. And there are people whose personality, they're more friendly and they have more friends.
[00:02:12] And friendship is kind of viewed in this passive way. Even when maybe you saw the title of the sermon today was about friends and sort of a cartoonish picture, a toy story version of friendship came to your mind.
[00:02:29] And yet the Bible unpacks friendship in a very different way. It's difficult, it's grueling at times.
[00:02:40] It requires so much of who you are to commit to another person. It's not the sort of light, surfacey, artificial thing, relationship that we normally think about. You see, we were designed for a glorious friendship. In Genesis chapter two, when God created man, he does so face to face, breathing the breath of life into Adam's face.
[00:03:15] And that is a picture of the relationship that man is to have with God face to face. And in creating man in the image of God, he gives him the capacity to know and be known, which is the essence of friendship, with which is the essence of being friends. You know someone, you are known by them. And it's why we think of Adam walking in the garden with God as his friend. He knows God and he is known by God. It's why Abraham, who by faith walked with God, was called a friend of God. He was known by God, and he knew God. We even see in Exodus when Moses is speaking to God, the way it is described takes us all the way back to Genesis 2. He talks to God face to face as a friend. We were designed to be friends with God. At the heart of who we are is to be friends with God, to know God and be known by God. And that's not light, fluffy, cartoonish relationship, that's weighty, that's glorious. And when you do not know God, when you aren't known by God, when you are not a friend with God, you are missing an essential element to what it means to be a human.
[00:04:54] Friendship with God is at the heart of who we are supposed to be. And that means we are to experience friendship with one another with the same sort of vision, the same sort of concept and reality. We are to know and be known as friends, and that's a part of who we are. And Proverbs gives us this vision of friendship, which communicates that we are friends for the purpose of wisdom. And so if you think about today, it is at the essence of who I am to have friends and be friends. God has designed me that way in his image. But what is the purpose of my friendship? Well, the chief purpose of all friendship is biblical wisdom. And that requires wisdom on our part. First of all, we see in the verse we read earlier, Proverbs 13:20, friendship requires wisdom. Notice the verse, whoever walks with the wise becomes wise. Now, there is a picture here, as we talked about in the garden and with Abraham and Noah is spoken of this way of walking with God. Walking with someone is a picture of friendship. And why is that? Because we are living life and we are headed in a direction with our lives. And as we are headed in that direction, people come alongside us. And hopefully the verse says they are headed in the same direction towards wisdom. And so as you are living your life, as you are walking out your life, you are to walk with the wise.
[00:06:45] And we've defined what wisdom is in Proverbs. It is to fear the Lord. And so those who walk with those who fear the Lord, notice the result.
[00:06:54] They will become wise, they will fear the Lord. We are to have wise friends who fear the Lord, but notice the counter.
[00:07:07] But the companion of fools will suffer harm if you choose to walk with those who do not fear the Lord, which Proverbs defines as fools. The fool says in his heart there is no God, so he's not living his life as if he has been created by God and is accountable to God. He is living as a fool headed to destruction. And so the choice is, do you want to walk toward wisdom or do you want to walk toward foolish destruction? This is what you are to think about as you think about friendship. And one of the ways the curse of sin affects friendships is we take this desire that's within us, this innate desire for relationships, this innate desire for friendship. It's a part of who we are, and we have that desire within us, and it is a good desire.
[00:08:09] But we also are all turned in our hearts toward sin, and we desire sin. And there is a way in which those two things can come together in friendship that will destroy your life. Your desire for friends and your desire for friends or for sin. When that comes together, it is toxic destruction. Your friends will lead you toward the sin that you want. Think about that.
[00:08:44] Think about the friends you have. Where are they leading? This verse would tell us. We are to be careful in our friendships. We're not to be passive in our friendships. If you are passive with your friends, you will walk toward destruction, because your heart, like a magnet, will. Will draw those type of friends to yourself. And you will walk together toward ruin. And so the question is, are your friends wise?
[00:09:11] As you think about friendships, the way your friends talk, their priorities, their commitments, do they fear the Lord?
[00:09:20] Do they cause you to fear the Lord? Do they cause you to love and enjoy Jesus more? To serve his church better? What do your friends produce in your life? Because they produce something?
[00:09:34] Where are you headed together?
[00:09:37] You see, so often we are so starved for relationship that we rarely ask, where is this friendship headed?
[00:09:47] Where is this person headed? And should I be going with them there?
[00:09:52] Where is this friendship going to take me?
[00:09:56] And I would say to the young adults here today, it's a kind of cliche, but show me your friends, I will show you your future.
[00:10:07] The friends that you have right now, you are headed in a direction that will shape the rest of your life. And parents, you should be very critical of your kids. Friends with. We like to put a lot of emphasis on academics, extracurricular, just sort of generic values with our kids. Manners, sports.
[00:10:34] But what will shape your kids most will be their friends.
[00:10:40] And you should be critical. Are their friends headed in the direction you want them to go? And as you make decisions about education and all of the extracurricular things you want them to be involved with, you should consider what kind of friends will they have because of this. We are to be wise in friendship. Friendship requires wisdom. But next, friendship requires your greatest loyalty. When you find wise friends, you are to give yourself over to them in loyalty. Notice Proverbs 17:17, which is the next verse we'll look at. And it says, a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. You see, in this cultural context, family meant obligation. There was a cultural obligation to your family, way more so than we think about today. You are to take care of your family.
[00:11:41] That was a way in which you were even before God bound them, is to take care of their needs. There were even laws when your brother's wife died that the brother was to marry her so that his kids and their family was taken care of even in the death of your brother.
[00:12:03] And he's saying here, a brother is born for that. Just. Just existing in this family means that you are to be taken care of by your family. It was a forced obligation.
[00:12:18] But what the verse is communicating here, a friend, is an even greater loyalty.
[00:12:26] You don't choose your family, but you do choose your friends, which requires a greater loyalty than even that to your family. And we know that.
[00:12:38] We think about our families. And just to be honest, there's sort of a forced affection that we have to have for families. You got to be here at this event, and you got to do that. And if you're not here, you really don't love the family. And what's.
[00:12:54] And then you. And taking pictures, y'all act like you love each other. Just act like it for a minute. And there's a forced affection with family, but not so with friends.
[00:13:08] You choose your friends. You commit to your friends.
[00:13:13] And the picture being painted here, notice it says, a friend loves at all times. It is a commitment to another person's good, no matter what it costs you. And without the same obligation that you would have to a brother or to family, you are committing to this person that you have no obligation to, no matter what. And you're committing to stick with them to the end. Notice Proverbs 18:24. A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Notice, a man of many companions. Now, this could be translated a man who makes himself friendly. And this is fake friendship. This is sort of making friends by artificial flattery. He just acts like he likes everybody. He just tries to be friends with everybody and is nice with everybody.
[00:14:15] He says that person may come to ruin because he has no genuine friends. He's just a friendly person. He has a lot of acquaintances. But notice there is a friend. Friendship is different than this fake, artificial flattery. Notice there is a friend, one friend, which this verse also tells us, you're not going to be friends with everyone.
[00:14:42] And the person that tries to be friends with everyone and thinks they're friends with everyone is usually a bit delusional.
[00:14:50] It's not true. It's impossible to be committed as a friend to everyone. But there is a friend who sticks. Now this is interesting. This is the same verb used of when you are married and you leave and you cleave, you are committed to this person to the end.
[00:15:12] I make a decision, I'm going to be your friend and I'm going to be faithful. A faithful friend who sticks closer than a brother to the very end through no matter what.
[00:15:25] This is rare.
[00:15:28] And the person who says they have a bunch of these is again, usually a bit delusional.
[00:15:34] But there is inherent in this kind of friendship. Notice the verse, something that keeps us from ruining. And Notice Proverbs, chapter 20, verse 6. Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find. Again, there is an emphasis on how rare a faithful friend is this friend who sticks closer than a brother. But this time it's contrasted with a man who just proclaims his steadfast love. And again, even in these two verses, the intensity with which Proverbs is describing friendship, this, this cleaving sticking together to the end. And then here the proclamation of steadfast love, covenant love. And this verse tells us it's one thing to say I love you and I'm your friend, another to be a faithful friend until the end. This is rare to find someone this way.
[00:16:47] Now, I would guess as we go through these verses, some of us are sitting there thinking, man, no one is my friend in that way.
[00:17:01] I have very few friends who are committed to me in that way.
[00:17:07] Some of us, maybe that's disheartening. Where's my friends?
[00:17:14] That's not the point of these verses.
[00:17:17] The point of these verses is describe to you what it would be like for you to be wise, what it would be like for you to be a friend, what it would be like for you to commit to others in this way. Instead of asking, who is befriending me, wisdom says, no, I am responsible to be a friend to others. And Commit to others in this way, to be inconvenienced in this way, to be loyal in this way. I choose to be the wise friend. This is what it looks like for you to have wisdom as a friend.
[00:17:58] And so what would it mean for you to be this loyal friend?
[00:18:03] What does your commitment as a friend look like?
[00:18:07] Are you constantly in your own mind, in your own heart, evaluating your friends?
[00:18:14] You know, do they meet the level that I want them to meet as a friend? Do they meet my standard? Do they meet my requirements? That's being a bad friend.
[00:18:26] Being a good friend just starts and says, I'm going to be committed to that person no matter what. I'm committed to their good no matter what. I'm going to love them without obligation. I'm going to love them even if it means inconvenience. And I'm not going to walk away when it's messy and when it's difficult.
[00:18:49] What does your commitment as a friend look like?
[00:18:54] Some of you use the excuse, I'm just way too busy to have friends.
[00:18:59] Well, you're going to be a fool headed to destruction. It's up to you to commit to these kind of friendships. And for some of us, it means we're going to have to schedule this. We're going to have to make friendship a priority. I talk to a lot of people and it's like, I need to have friends. I want to be a friend. I need friends. Okay, be friends. When can you meet? Well, Next Thursday at 9:30am I have 15 minutes to meet. Well, that's not the way that's going to work.
[00:19:36] Some of you are going to have to just schedule nights of the week and quit waiting for other people to have you over to dinner and invite people over to dinner and hang out. You're going to have to make it a priority in your life to have friends. You're going to have to schedule this out.
[00:19:56] And one day your kids are going to be gone.
[00:20:01] Your kids aren't going to be there, and you're going to be alone with your spouse. And who else is going to fill up the house with noise? It's going to be quiet. You better start making friends now. You're going to be lonely.
[00:20:15] And if you say, I don't have time for friends, how long are you scrolling on that phone?
[00:20:20] Laid up over on the couch with nothing to do, Invite someone over for dessert.
[00:20:27] You're going to have to schedule this out. You're going to have, and that's at the heart of it, the loyalty I'M committed to this, so I make it a priority. But next, what inside this friendship? What does it look like? Friendship requires honesty. Notice Proverbs 27, verses 5 through 6. Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Open correction. This is what happens in the context of wise friendship, friendship, where there's this commitment to one another's good, no matter what, to the end. What happens inside these friendships? Now, this isn't just generic acquaintances. Again, this is inside the friendship, and it's open rebuke, open correction. Out of genuine love, you love this person, and with humility, you're willing to confront them, and you're willing to rebuke them. And notice how that is contrasted with hidden love.
[00:21:30] You see, you act like you love the person, but you hide love for them because you never call them out on their sin.
[00:21:38] You never seek to correct them.
[00:21:42] You're worried about the friendship in this way, what will it cause? And here, this hidden love is cowardice love. It's private, quiet love that's never expressed.
[00:21:55] And again, remember, the purpose is wisdom, away from foolishness. If you genuinely love someone, you're going to protect them from foolishness and destruction. And you're going to, with wisdom and humility, guide them in the right direction, which often involves an open rebuke. You see, you can be loud with I love you, and then silent in cowardice as they head toward foolishness. And friends like that are useless.
[00:22:28] It's hypocrisy, and that's what's being described here. And it continues and says faithful, which is another word for love. Loving are the wounds of a friend. Profuse are the kisses of an enemy. And so a friend loves you enough. And the wounds here are with words. That's in context. A friend loves you enough to tell you hard things that at times hurt. What does an enemy do? An enemy is profuse, over the top with kisses, which means flattery.
[00:23:03] So an enemy will flatter you because they don't want your good. And often there's a motive behind their flattery.
[00:23:13] An enemy will tell you how wonderful and great you are all the time, but that does you no good, and that's not loving. A faithful friend will step out and wound you at times.
[00:23:27] And here we see a contrast between what encouragement might be and flattery. Encouragement is based on truth, because some of you are thinking, well, I need friends to encourage me. You should want your friends to encourage you based on what's real and what's true, not fake.
[00:23:43] Tell me the truth. Encourage me with the truth. Encourage Me with the gospel truth.
[00:23:50] And so if you're going to be a good friend, it will require honesty. Now, I would tell you, first of all, you need to ask, do I genuinely love this person? Is there this wise friendship in the context of this relationship? You should not leave here today unhinged. Hey, the pastor gave me opportunity to call everybody out and wound the whole church. I'm just being a faithful friend to everybody.
[00:24:15] No, this probably happens in the context of 3, 4, 5 people in your life that you genuinely love. And you need to ask, is my motive control self righteousness just to hurt them? Is this a preference? Or are they headed toward sin?
[00:24:35] And you can say, I love you and I'm not leaving, but I need to tell you this hard thing.
[00:24:42] Sometimes the hardest thing to say is the most loving thing to say.
[00:24:47] The most difficult thing is the most loving thing.
[00:24:52] Man, you can't talk to your spouse that way.
[00:24:56] You can't talk about your husband that way.
[00:25:01] That relationship that you're in, that friendship is not headed in a good direction.
[00:25:09] That's pulling you away from things that are good and godly and right. You're headed to destruction, brother. I love you, sister. I don't want what's worst for you. I don't want foolishness and destruction in your life.
[00:25:25] You see, flattery is easy, but it's the worst thing you can do for someone.
[00:25:30] Sometimes we say, I'm not going to say that because I love them too much. No, you love yourself too much.
[00:25:36] And you love what that friendship, that fake, artificial friendship is doing for you too much. You don't really love the person because you would not want the destruction and foolishness in their life. This is why Proverbs 29, verse 5 says, A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet.
[00:25:57] Your flattery at times is a trap that leads people to destruction. It's like you're hunting out in a field and you camouflage the trap so the animal doesn't see it and it walks right into it. That's what you're doing for some of your friends.
[00:26:16] You're telling them how great they are and they're headed toward destruction. And you know it.
[00:26:23] And again, we're going to social media. I just think if Solomon had social media in his day, there would be one verse in Proverbs about it and it would be social media. No, period. Next verse.
[00:26:37] Because social media is driven by flattery.
[00:26:42] It is driven by the flattery of others. And you have to temper your heart with that. Why am I putting this out here. Why am I letting these people know what I'm doing in my life? And so often it is to receive flattery for it.
[00:26:58] I've talked to friends and relatives and said, this is sin and this is bad. Well, Aunt Jean liked it.
[00:27:08] She saw where I was. Aunt Jean can't see her phone. She just saw your name and liked it. She doesn't know what's going on there.
[00:27:19] This is why that can be so dangerous. In our life. We have this flattery that pumps our life up and. And no one really knows us and we can be headed to destruction. No, you need friends who can step in and say no. And you need to be that friend who steps in and says no. Think about your friends who are headed to hell.
[00:27:40] And you say, I just love them too much. No, you don't.
[00:27:46] They're headed to eternal torment.
[00:27:49] It is loving. It is faithful to wound them in this way and say no, no, you are in rebellion against God and I don't want this for you. Why? Because I love you. I love you. In the context of friendship, we must be honest. We also must be humble. Friendship requires humility. Notice oil and perfume make the heart glad. And the sweetness of a friend comes from earnest counsel. Again, that word, earnest is also love. Committed counsel, faithful counsel. Not controlling, not self righteous. It's not your preferences. But you're willing to set someone down and confront them of sin.
[00:28:30] And he says, it's like oil and perfume. And this would mean refreshment after a long day, work or travel, it was a part of hospitality. Someone is worn out, and here you provide refreshment for them.
[00:28:47] And that's the way our counsel should be for one another.
[00:28:51] My sin is wearing me out.
[00:28:54] My life is headed in a direction that is making me miserable.
[00:29:00] And friends step in and say, okay, this isn't good for you.
[00:29:06] Let's turn from this. I'm going to walk with you.
[00:29:09] As we move away from foolishness, this is what friends do. And he says, and the sweetness of a friend.
[00:29:17] Now, they didn't have sugar the way that we have sugar. So what does that mean that we think about maybe a honeycomb? It was good sugar, it was sweet. It was rare is the point.
[00:29:31] And rare is a friend who will step in and give you faithful counsel.
[00:29:36] And again we would think, okay, I got to be the friend who steps in and corrects gives counsel.
[00:29:45] Well, now the point of this verse is that you need to be the friend with humility.
[00:29:50] You need to see the counsel of your friends as sweet and good. For you. You need to receive the correction of your friends as refreshing for you and good. They are helping me along the way. You want to form great friendships, be humble, go to your friends and say, I need help. I need correction. I need accountability in this way. Proverbs 18:1 says, Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire.
[00:30:22] What we often do is, I don't want friendship in that way. No, I want to do what I want. And so you isolate yourself from others.
[00:30:32] We do that when folks call us out on our sin. We move away from them. Notice to seek our own desire, which we've talked about so often, is headed towards sin, is directed towards sin. And notice he breaks out against sound judgment, loses his mind, is hostile to anyone who would say, that's not good for you, and moves away from solid counsel.
[00:30:56] The point of that verse is, if you want to hear what you want to hear, just get a mirror and talk into it.
[00:31:03] And this is what you want. You really don't want friends. You want a paparazzi.
[00:31:08] You want. People are going to cheer you along and tell you what you want to hear, and you isolate from those who don't.
[00:31:16] We see here wisdom means embracing humility and friendship to see good in correction. I was thinking about this and it occurred to me that the people in my life, as I look back on my life, the people who I would say absolutely loved me the most, are the people who told me the hardest things.
[00:31:40] They're still my friends.
[00:31:43] I even think about my dad, who had to tell me some really hard things as I was growing up and becoming a man.
[00:31:49] It's because he loved me. He says, this is foolish.
[00:31:54] I think about mentors and friends who said, you can't go in this way. This isn't going to be good for you. And they loved me. And you know what? The people who just let me act like an idiot, most of them are nowhere to be found.
[00:32:10] Why?
[00:32:11] Because they weren't genuine friends. They really didn't care about me.
[00:32:17] And so receive correction of friends.
[00:32:23] Good athletes always enjoy watching film of the game.
[00:32:30] They enjoy it. They want to get to the film room and they want to say, okay, where were the mistakes? Where were the problems? Let's fix it.
[00:32:39] Good employees enjoy the the review of their performance.
[00:32:45] Okay, I want to get better. And they lean into those things.
[00:32:49] Good friends will ask for correction. And that's one way, as a friend you can show humility, is help me with this, look into my life and help me show humility in this way. But next we see this kind of friendship ultimately produces wisdom. Proverbs 27:17 says, Iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens another. And there is the picture here of iron, which we may say was on an axe. It was probably a sword. And a sword would be ineffective in battle if it wasn't sharpened. Well, how do you sharpen it? With another piece of metal.
[00:33:33] This is how it's sharpened, and this is how we are to be sharpened in wisdom, in the world, by one another.
[00:33:41] We are to enter these sort of friendships and we cultivate this counsel and we cultivate this humility together, and it sharpens us in wisdom. We approach friendship with vulnerability.
[00:33:55] We approach friendship with courage. And as those things come together, there is mutual wisdom that is produced in our friendships.
[00:34:06] Mutual wisdom.
[00:34:09] So often our friendships exist of mutual commiserating, just mutual gossip, venting.
[00:34:23] That's not good, friends. That's not a good friendship.
[00:34:27] We just sort of get together and grumble and complain and sort of puff ourselves up when it comes to theology or politics.
[00:34:35] And we never walk away with wisdom.
[00:34:39] You should ask in your conversations with your friends, are we going to be wiser after this conversation, or are we going to be worse off in our own little echo chambers?
[00:34:52] How are we going to get together and encourage and challenge? Your friends should challenge you.
[00:34:59] This means you should have friends who disagree with you on some things, friends who disagree with parenting the way you parent, who disagree with your politics. I have some of my closest friends disagree with me on ecclesiology.
[00:35:16] And you know what? It's made me believe I'm more right.
[00:35:22] But I would never understand my right theology if they didn't disagree with me.
[00:35:31] But even in little areas of life, you need that.
[00:35:36] Why do I believe what I believe? Why am I doing things this way? You need a friend who's going to challenge you every now and then. You need to think about the other side of things.
[00:35:48] And when it comes to sin, you need friends who are going to sharpen you, sharpen your blade so that you might do battle in the world for wisdom.
[00:36:00] But all of this ultimately requires the gospel. We think about wise friendships. We think about the love and commitment we're to have one another. We think about honesty and humility. And we think about iron, sharpening iron. And every now and again there's a piece of metal that flies off and hits us in the face. It's dangerous. Friendships can be dangerous. You can be hurt. This is why you need the gospel. This is why genuine, true friendships are bound together in the gospel. Why is that? Notice Proverbs 17, 9. Whoever covers an offense seeks love. But whoever repeats a matter separates close friends. What's he talking about here? He's talking about forgiveness. The word cover doesn't mean just to forget and move on to, to pass over, act like it never happened. No, we even get the word atonement from that. There's reconciliation, there's forgiveness. That's happened here and because of that you put it behind. But there are people who continue to repeat a matter and as they repeat the matter, they separate from their friend, even in their own mind. I can't believe she did that. Remember when he did that?
[00:37:16] Man, I still can't get past when you did after. There's reconciliation and forgiveness.
[00:37:22] The only way you can do that is the power of the gospel.
[00:37:27] And this is the height of friendship that can only happen because of the gospel.
[00:37:33] You can forgive some really difficult things with your friends because of the gospel, because Jesus has forgiven you of your sin.
[00:37:43] And throughout life you're going to go through different seasons.
[00:37:47] School, marriage, your kids are in school, job, career is going to take you through different seasons.
[00:37:56] Age is going to take you into different categories where commonality forms friendship.
[00:38:03] But long lasting friendships are tied together with the gospel.
[00:38:08] And it's not some generic artificial friendship.
[00:38:13] Some of my closest friends are friends who we went through some really, really bad days together and there were some intense disagreements and it took months and sometimes even years to work it out. But because of the gospel, we were committed to that.
[00:38:34] It's like that metal is broken and then even stronger when it's welded back together. That relationship that at time there can be dissonance when it's repaired is stronger than it was before in the gospel. And so what does that require of you?
[00:38:52] Of you? It requires that you're going to be the friend. When there is conflict, the other person knows we're just going to work it out because of the gospel. And I know and I trust them and they believe the gospel and they're going to forgive me and I'm going to forgive them. The friendships that I have that way are such a joy in my life where I know, man, we got sideways.
[00:39:16] And I know the sin in my heart. And by the way, you're pretty sinful too.
[00:39:22] But because of the gospel, we're going to work it out. I don't lay awake at night worried about those friendships, be that friend who is committed to one another with the gospel.
[00:39:36] And I know as I talk about friendship today, many of you are scared to death, you've been hurt You've been betrayed. And this whole topic of friendship is so difficult for you. And you would rather isolate and not have friends.
[00:39:54] That's why friendship requires Jesus.
[00:39:56] John, chapter 15, 13, 15.
[00:40:00] Eric read it earlier.
[00:40:02] Greater love has no one than this. Than someone would lay down his life for his friends.
[00:40:07] You are my friends if you do what I command you. First of all, we see here Jesus is the wise friend.
[00:40:14] We read all this. We say, how can I do this? How can I do this? I don't have people who are committed to me in that way. Yes, you do.
[00:40:21] His name's Jesus.
[00:40:23] He is the wise, loyal friend who is honest. He was humble to die for your sin. He has covered your transgression with his blood.
[00:40:34] He has forgiven you. He has cast your sin from the east to the west in him as you confess. He promises to never bring it up again. Jesus is the friend all of these verses is talking about. And so you have a friend, a real friend in Jesus. So as you think about betrayal in your life and you think about hurt, and you feel the aloneness when it comes to this topic of friendship, you have the chief friend, the great friend who is Jesus. How do you know he's your friend? He died for your sin. He's committed to you by his blood. He is the friend who. Who has become your brother in the gospel, as you have been adopted by God into the same family. And so here you get the family and the friendship you get also get a family full of friends.
[00:41:32] You know, the local church should be the safest place to pursue friendship. And I know some of you, that's hard to wrap your mind around, just context that you may have been in before.
[00:41:42] Why should the local church be the safest place for friendship? Notice what Jesus commands us to love one another the way he has loved us, to be that friend. We are commanded. It's not an option in the context of the church. It's not an option to walk away and be selfish and be petty and be pouty and to be wickedly sinful. It's not an option.
[00:42:09] That's not how we produce Gospel friendship.
[00:42:14] And so the church is a safe place for friendship.
[00:42:18] And you're still thinking. Yeah, but.
[00:42:23] Well, I would say to you, there are people here today who need you to be their friend.
[00:42:32] Across the room, there's somebody who feels the same way you do about friendship, and they need you to pursue them as friends, to be committed to their good, no matter what. And it's scary.
[00:42:46] But keep in mind this verse, because there are a lot of reasons Jesus should not have pursued you as a friend.
[00:42:54] There are a lot of reasons Jesus could even give up on you as a friend.
[00:43:00] And it's a good thing Jesus isn't your buddy, he is your friend.
